The following day, which was a Monday, I was going to go to Mumbai to attend some meetings. On Sunday, while walking with my wife, I realized that I had not packed my towel. My anxieties started. By the time I was back home, I had decided that I would not go to Mumbai. I cancelled my ticket.
This is a true story.
Hi… My name is Ajay. I am 44 years old working as a consultant in Information Technology in Vadodara, Gujarat. I am married to my lovely wife for over 18 years and we have 2 beautiful daughters.
In last 3 months, I have spent many days that were painful, to say the least.
I have not been able to lead a normal life. I have not been able to laugh when my daughter has told me a funny story. I have talked for hours without being part of the conversation. I have not done much without fear. I have not picked up many phone calls because I was afraid. I have not loved anyone in this time as I found myself incapable of doing so. There have been at least 4 days in last 3 months that I have slept the whole day. I have not watched a movie where I have become engrossed in it.
I suffer from Clinical Depression since January of 2014.
As I write this story, I can feel that I am almost back to normal but not quite. In last one week, I have had many engaged conversations, I have laughed and I have made my daughters laugh. I have answered many phone calls and without fear of being tagged as emotionally weak, I have told people that I suffer from depression.
Today, I feel the courage to share my story if someone somewhere benefits from it. Mind you, my story is not as bad as many more who suffer from severe depression. The reason for sharing my story is that I believe that there are large number of people like me who have to pretend not having depression due to society, professional reasons or family pressure.
I am few of the lucky depressed individuals whose family accepts depression as a disease and gives me the support I need.
Being blessed with supportive family, friends & clients, I could not help but feel, that I needed to do more than just fight my own battle. So I have decided to start a support group in Vadodara for people suffering from depression & anxiety.
The blog & support group is my way of expressing gratitude to everyone that stood by me during this trying time.
THANK YOU….
The journey has just started. I am hoping to meet and interact many brave people who mustered the courage to come out and seek help.
I am not an accomplished story teller so if this story seems amateurish at best, well you categorized it right. I have no interest in writing a best seller. I want to help, if someone is out there suffering from depression, by letting them know that they are not alone. There are many normal looking & behaving people who also suffer from this dangerous disease.
So when I feel up to it, I want to write a blog about my fight with depression. Would welcome your suggestions and comments.
